I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
