Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
