That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
