I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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