While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
There was a lot of him and a little penis
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
