Who did Billy Mays play for?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
