two words: eviction party
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Drake has all the answers
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
