what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
