It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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