Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm jealous of your bromance
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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