Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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