My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
