I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
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