Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize