a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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