spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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