I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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