i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
