I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
