Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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