it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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