Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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