so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
