butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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