I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
