Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it was like eating out sand paper
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It all started with a game of naked twister.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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