Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
