The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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