If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
