TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
