Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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