i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize