that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
