why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize