At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
