I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
