dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
