Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
