I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
