I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
