Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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