East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
