I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize