he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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