I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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