guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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