do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
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If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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