If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
