summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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