Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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