i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The adults are the big ones right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize