yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
