What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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