LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
