everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
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I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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