Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
