I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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