dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I forgot how hot balto sounded
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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