Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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