so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Even my vagina gasped.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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