the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
