Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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