Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
