But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
